Since we broke up, my ex-boyfriend has saying bad stuff about me. He is saying I cheated when really it was him. What should I do?
From: Hopeless in High School
Dear Hopeless in High School,
If he’s spreading rumors about you, then it’s clear that he is ashamed of his actions and is looking for someone to blame it on. He clearly can’t handle the consequences of what he’s done and is looking for a way to make himself feel better. No matter what he says to other people, deep down he knows that he is in the wrong and that must drive him crazy. He has to live with what he’s done everyday. He knows that he messed up and, although he can change the story for other people, that will never change what really happened.
I understand that it can be tough when people are saying untrue things about you, but what’s important to remember is that you did the right thing and you are not to blame. The important people around you will know that too. Surround yourself with those who you know will be on your side and forget the rest. On social media, try and block people that may be a problem. Definitely block him and his close friends. They are no longer a part of your life, and you don’t want them to have any way of contacting you. You also don’t want to be seeing his pictures and be constantly reminded of him.
Remember that relationships, especially in high school, are so confusing, and they can go so many different directions. It can be easy to blame yourself when something doesn’t go right, but the truth is that everybody is just figuring things out. High schoolers can be indecisive and shady. You did your best with this relationship and he was the one that threw it away. Cheating is the pathetic act of a small person and it only makes it worse that he didn’t own up to it. You are above that. Don’t waste your time thinking about him; he doesn’t deserve it.
*This is letter is a fictional story, but the advice is real. We want to provide an example of what the advice column looks like. If you are interested in relationship advice, feel free to send letter to the email@example.com. We’ll keep your identity anonymous. Jill is a pseudonym.